愛做夢的我～Val

我一直遲遲不想寫... 一半是因為前面欠了一堆補寫的事件...

但我還是想寫這篇吧, in memory of a dear friend.

我在6號的晚上接到 Kai 的 email, 那標題寫著:~ dunno if u know
我打開了信件便讀到一件我無法相信的事實

Kai在 email 裡面簡單地說Ming已經過世了
不曉得我是否知道這消息便寫給我
信件的整體內容如下~
Hi val,
Don't know if you know yet...that Ming passed on last wed.
Suddenly thought of you this am and thought you will want to know.
Hope all is well and you are creating a spectacular life in Taiwan!

Lots love

我讀後的第一反應... 我不敢相信我眼睛所看到的事實
我還很希望我所讀到的不是真的因為Ming means alot to me.
It's true that I have no idea how and what to react, but I know I'll miss her lots.

I first met Ming, surname Lui (雷) when I attended Asiaworks. I attended the Trainings when I was 22, so that makes it about 4 years ago. I don't exactly remember exactly how and why we met but in the Asiaworks Family, we all kinda knew each other especially LPs (Leadership Programme Graduates) that follows after. Ming is in LP10, her brother Khang and my friend Laiyin is in LP11 and I am in LP12. Those were the days when graduates often go back to Asiaworks to help out and I often bump into Ming. I also worked with her when she captained Basic. I have to say I learned alot from her. The way she take on the world, the love she showers on Aurora, the belief that she alone can bring Aurora up and so much more. The sheer presence of her calms me when I am nervous during a Training. It seems that if she's around I have nothing to fear, Ming will take care of everything. Scenes of the activities we did together, trainings we created, guest event nights, etc etc flashed passed and with every memory my heart pains more.

我在隔天又寫了封email給Kai... asking her what happened
She replied saying that Ming had cancer last year, had a relapse in Perth and came home.
這件事發生得太突然了... 感覺上心口好像活生生地被挖了個洞
我在收到回覆的當晚哭了
我已經不知道要怎麼 react 了...
哭, 對我來說是個 release 吧
把憋在心裡的痛與悲傷發洩出來

在這種時候我覺得一個人在外很痛苦...
無法找人聆聽的痛苦
寂寞一人的痛苦

我會記得Ming所說的 ~ keep living spectacularly and also know how to ask for support, express emotions & treat our body with love & respect...

I will miss u greatly dearest MING, though gone a part of u lives in me forever n I thank u for living your life spectacularly...